| quick rough draft |
[Aug. 5th, 2009|11:00 pm] |
falling though the silence
slipping sliding in darkness
with the
tick
drop
drip
tock
void eternal
quiet expanse
from valley
to sea
only the low hum
the buzz
constant
unrelenting
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| In my Lifetime. |
[Jul. 25th, 2009|11:03 pm] |
Since I've been born, two space shuttles have exploded, and it was nearly ten years before I was born since the last time we stood on another rock than Earth.
I've seen the creation of MS DOS and the first successful portable computer, and the leap from 160kB being a lot of data on a disk to a cheap ($100) portable 1 TB drive.
2.3 billion more people on alive.
Commercial use of the internet happened when I was in grade school
GPS was developed while I was in highschool.
The rise and now fall of the Compact Disk.
The rise and now fall of the DVD
The birth of the MP3 and file sharing.
The concept of digital piracy.
The fall of the Berlin Wall and the USSR. End of the Cold War.
The discovery of AIDS, and then, HIV.
MTV goes on the air, and plays music. Then stops playing music.
New Coke comes and goes.
Birth of the Discovery Channel
DNA starts being used in criminal trials
Mir comes.. and goes
The ISS goes gets started.
The Chunnel gets made.
Exxon Valdez spill
Invasion of Granada
The Gulf War, Iraq War, Invasion of Panama, War in Somalia
Bosnia, Kosovo War, War in Afganistan
Y2K
9-11-01
So, I started this, with thinking about how amazing thing have been, and how they've changed. Then I started thinking more, and.. Well you see how the list ends. Over all, I still think good things have happened. I like living now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2009|09:24 pm] |
Life Story
by Tennessee Williams
After you've been to bed together for the first time,
without the advantage or disadvantage of any prior acquaintance,
the other party very often says to you,
Tell me about yourself, I want to know all about you,
what's your story? And you think maybe they really and truly do
sincerely want to know your life story, and so you light up
a cigarette and begin to tell it to them, the two of you
lying together in completely relaxed positions
like a pair of rag dolls a bored child dropped on a bed.
You tell them your story, or as much of your story
as time or a fair degree of prudence allows, and they say,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
each time a little more faintly, until the oh
is just an audible breath, and then of course
there's some interruption. Slow room service comes up
with a bowl of melting ice cubes, or one of you rises to pee
and gaze at himself with mild astonishment in the bathroom mirror.
And then, the first thing you know, before you've had time
to pick up where you left off with your enthralling life story,
they're telling you their life story, exactly as they'd intended to all
along,
and you're saying, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
each time a little more faintly, the vowel at last becoming
no more than an audible sigh,
as the elevator, halfway down the corridor and a turn to the left,
draws one last, long, deep breath of exhaustion
and stops breathing forever. Then?
Well, one of you falls asleep
and the other one does likewise with a lighted cigarette in his mouth,
and that's how people burn to death in hotel rooms. |
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| Happy (Chinese) New Year |
[Jan. 26th, 2009|12:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | School | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pink Martini - City of Night | ] |
As the year of the Ox starts, so does the spring semester. I'm a bit early for class, and the phys room isnt currently open for business, so i'm sitting here in front of Holt [basically the math and bio building] using the wonderful free net access. barely been here for 20 mins and already bumped into 3 people I've got to catch up with. Awesome. That and being invited to a faculty poker game... makes this so far the best first day ever. And class hasnt even started yet. Perhaps thats why it is still going so well.
Although a friend had made the band sound only marginally ok to listen to, with a lame [but accurate] desciption, I've found the band Pink Martini. They remind me of my favorite jazz band of all time which sadly broke up a few years ago. The wooden nickel jass band (yes i spelled it as THEY did) was based out of Sac, and broke up right before i moved to chico, where i had hoped to catch them occationally. Bastards! Still, the vocalist still does solo and some of her friends (i.e. the band) come play with her occationally.. so i hear. So there is still a chance to see them again if only in a different form.
Please excuse if there are even more typos in this post than normal, but Being outside where im sitting gives me a great view of the world but a nasty glare on the screen, thus making it a tad harder to see what the hell im typing.
So, this semesters classes are as follows: 2 math and 2 physics and GRE prep.
Math is Differential equations, and Proofs ( im stoked about proofs even though it is at 9:30 in the fucking morning. I know its not that early but the other days i dont have class till 1pm)
Physics are Computational (where i'll learn some python programing!) and 204c which is a mix of.. well everything not civereed by basic Mechanics and E&M. Its a lot, but barely covered. Apperently about every 2 weeks we completely change gears. Its fast paced and no where near as in depth as either previous classes. Shit E&M was all about only one thing really, and I still have a year left of doing it in a more advanced way... which is still wrong because i'll have to do QED... and so on and so forth... for ever! muwhahaha... wait... is that a good thing? Well, im off to see where exactly my classes are ( i hate being late) |
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| People |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|10:06 am] |
Very recently I recieved an ultra portable laptop. This is both my xmas gift and b-day gift. It is exactly what i wanted because i picked it out.
This post is not about the gift. Instead it is about the odd comment i recieved yesterday.
"I would kill myself if i had a laptop that small."
Now i've got many comments yesterday, as that was the first time it was at school, some good some bad, but that one...
WTF people. I understand this is Hyperbole, but that's just insane. Something is fundamentally wrong with the world.
But hey, i like the laptop, so :P~~ |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 5th, 2008|12:17 am] |
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I realize that yet again I've let this go unupdated for a long time. Break was good, but my algeries kicked my ass. I'm still kicking ass in physics, but i know i've recently dropped from #2. Or if i havent, I'm not as close to the #1 as I was. Which this is all funny as I didnt even look at this as a compatition till i found out how close i was to being #1
So forget that shit... onto fun stuff. Tonight i went to see the Chico Caberet. Talk about fun.
Oh and i'm getting laptop. Already ordered from dell. Its a Mini 9. I;ve been wanting something along these lines ever since the ipod nano came out. Sony talked about doing a laptop with a solid state memory HD. thus, no moving parts. And i wanted one. its taken a bit but they are finally out. And this has linus installed. and its small so i can take it with me on trips.
I realize as much fun as it was to see pretty girls get nearly naked it also makes me sad. Master your instrument, master the music, and then forget all that bullshit and just play
- Charlie Parker |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2008|08:36 pm] |
Just so that people know, I am alive. I havent updated in a long while and mostly thats due to... well me not having much time. But right now its worse as I lack internet access at my home. I have moved and i'm still working on the comcast thing. So now its late and i'm at school working hard at physics, and am taking a break and desided to inform y'all... the few who read this, that i'm alive, as previously stated.
I havent checked this in.. well a week, so i'm sure i'm waaaaay behind on a lot of things. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2008|07:37 pm] |
Here's the winnnig Rep ticket:
McCain/ Zombie Lincoln 2008
i dont see who else can make McCain favorable enough to win. |
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| Boom De Yada! |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|12:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Boom De Yada! [in my head] | ] |
Ok. So been a bit rough of a week. Sunday I somehow forgot to put the oil cap back on my car, and blew up the engine. Had to have it towed and sold it to the junk yard. Sale didn t quite cover 1/2 the tow fee. This kind of canceled my trip to Humboldt.
Next day I couldn t get the Rx-7 running. took 3-4 hours to fix. but then drove it to Paradise and got it worked on more. It runs awesome now. And yesterday I got it legal for now. But I was an idiot and hadnt non-oped it. so there was another 80 in fees.
Secondary hard drive went out. Thought it was fried, but i fixed it.. some how. Linux tools rock. but i had to format it to get it working. so, massive data lost. but hey, its working again.
After an hour or so of searching I finally found the music to "I love the world", the discovery channels awesome commercial. turns out it WAS a campfire song like i thought. some boy scout one. so once i found that out i just looked for that song instead.
i have a new idea for a project. Basically its a 3d piece. I'm doing some sketches on how it might work. I'm going to try and show how all majors are connected with one another with physics at the center. I have to say finding the chain to English [and all other languages] was surprisingly easy, fun and made a hell of a lot of sense. Of course if it didn t make sense i'd have to scrap the project.
I now need to try and grab more school supplies for next week. I need a new back pack as the old one is well... shit at this point and is relegated to holding all my tools for the car.
Oh and Young People Fucking was a fun movie. I recommend it.
I think i should be in a bad mood, but.. I'm not. shit's happened. But c'est la vie, oui? I'm excited school is starting. I'm sad I had to take out an additional loan on top of the subsidized one, but the summer, this last week mostly, killed my savings. Plus the car still needs work too. I'm also a tad sad the summer is ending,. I've enjoyed my laziness, but still working on random projects [none of which i finished], and the books i got to read [and damn if i didn't read a ton]. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2008|12:43 am] |
Today I had an interesting moment of clarity which now explains to me some of my behavior. This behavior is that when faced when a physical threat, I not only wont back down, but become antagonistic against whatever agent has issued the threat.
The reason is fairly simple. For one, it is my belief that the core of human socialization is that there are means to gain what one wants without the use of violence. Specifically to the point that the use of violence puts one outside of normal society. There are a few exceptions, such as defense of one person, or ones family and offspring. But these are not social reasons, these are basic survival, i.e. instinctual animalistic actions. We see these as exceptions because without survival there is no society. Otherwise, all violence stems from one being an animal [which we all are first] that is unable to control their lower impulses. This person shows that they are not entirely human. This is quite evident as children must be taught to disengage in violent activities. They naturally try and take things when they want them with pain to some other person. We recognize that these individuals are not fully developed as others are given guardianship over them and they have restricted rights. They are not complete people as of yet.
Now onto the behavior manifestation: the act of stating physical violence against my person. First this shows the person who issued the threat to believe i am unable to control my impulses and will defer top their whims simply because they will hurt me otherwise. I feel a human being is able to control these impulses. Thus the individual has implied I am not funny human.
Although I am find with slights against my family, my personal honor, my appearance, habits, etc... I am unable to let someone believe I am not human. Thus I will not allow them to bully me in such a manner. I will then push them to the point of causing physical pain, in order to show them that I will still not relent. I am human. I can ignore the threat of pain. I can ignore the pain to a certain extent as well.
Also, once this threat has been made, I lose a measure of respect for the individual who issued it. They have decided that instead of a logical argument, they will use the fear of pain to make me succumb to their will. I must not see if they will either learn that the threat will not work, and thus use a different approach, or see if they actually aren't fully human.
Either way, I feel I cannot back down until this matter is resolved. I have been in a decent number of altercations. I know what it is like to both have the shit beat out of me, and to beat the shit out of someone else. I learned both the first real fight I was ever in. I was beaten quite badly and left laying on the ground. The wind was knocked out of me, and I have been truly bested. But he turned his back on me. And although he was bigger and stronger, he wasnt excepting me to get back up and jump him and go for broke. At that point I realized I had already lost, and nothing I could do would make things worse. As I was sitting atop him catching my breath, looking at the blood I had caused to run down his face, having trouble seeing because of my own blood in my eyes, I realized I had succumbed to something far too primal.
I didn't like it, but still it took me a few more incidents to fully control that impulse. I was a kid. It was hard. But i learned. And since then I've learned to let others strike and turn the other check. I'm not always successful, i'll admit I'm not the best person in the world. But I try. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2008|11:29 am] |
"The New Pilot"
So far the Honda Pilot, according to comercials is better than a short range jet pack, hot air ballon, and monster trucks for fuel efficancy. Also it attracks trolls. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|10:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hot | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nature Boy - my own singing | ] |
I've just returned from a trip to Visalia. It was fun, more relaxed than the Morro Bay trip. its nice having a soft bed and your own room when away from your own space.
I drag raced a viper today and won. Yes he knew we were racing, but he did beat me the first 2 lights, and then he had a bad launch and i won one. he won the last one too, but really pushed it to make sure. i think he was pissed. should be too, since i beat him in the celica.
its hot. i'm not thrilled with the heat. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2008|11:17 am] |
Go to Urbandictionary.com and type in your answers (or the closestthing to it) to each question in the search box, then write the firstdefinition it gives you. stolen from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cherubrick01
( a meme ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2008|12:27 am] |
This site is going to go away or stoart charging as of monday july 21 2008
www.drhorrible.com
it is awesome. it is currently free. i plan on buying it once they charge for it [hopefully on dvd] but i think anyone who can, should check it out now. espically if you liked things like Firefly, Buffy the Vamp slayer.. or angel.
or, you like musicals.
WATCH IT |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2008|01:18 am] |
Btw, for those of you who don't watch Dr. Who, you are missing out on something amazing
for those that do, below is a slight ( spolier ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2008|12:39 am] |
So a few things.
First, found my usb drive with oooooooooh the last 3 years worth of research, designs, my witting [papers and creative writing] that I have feared lost. Not that a decent majority isn't backed up in many places, but some of it isn't. Or isn't completely up to date, or isn't at all anywhere but there... and would be hard to replicate again from scratch. I had feared it lost and was... upset. A few of the items on it that weren't backed up are some rather interesting data collected.
Second, I'm just flat out confused about some stuff in my personal life. I don't know what is going on. And I don't exactly know what it is I want. I mean, short term I see things i'd like to happen.
I had a wierd conversation with a friends mother at the bar this evening... very strange. It has me thinking and I'm not unhappy, but i'm not completely happy either. I'm unsatified in a number of ways. some i'm working on. a couple in paticular are long journeys and i just have to be content at that. |
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